As Swiss psychologist Carl Jung noted, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life.” Our relationship with money is often driven by beliefs formed long before we entered the world of investing. Most clients cannot articulate their money beliefs because they operate beneath their awareness. Yet these beliefs are powerful, deeply rooted, and guide behavior.
For example, children from households where resources were inadequate or unstable, commonly develop an underlying scarcity belief and anxiety about “never having enough.” As adult investors, that belief may surface as hyper-control over finances or an excessive focus on performance and growth — even if wealthy.
Equally, another child raised in the same circumstances may develop the opposite belief: better to spend it now, because it may not be there later. The external circumstances are the same, but the internal narrative — and therefore the financial behavior — can be quite different.
Many of our money beliefs are established early in life, though some emerge later through significant life experiences.
An advisor shared an experience with an ultra-high-net-worth widowed client who had long exhibited patterns of extreme frugality and tight financial control. Despite two wealth management teams offering their insights, the advisor’s team uncovered that the client’s financial behaviors were driven by a deep sense of responsibility to protect their late partner’s legacy. The belief: “If I make changes, I’ll be disloyal.” With gentle probing, the advisor led a meaningful conversation that resulted in the client’s openness to change.
Many of our beliefs are inherited patterns shaped by our family of origin, and while these internalized beliefs form the foundation of our financial decisions, much of our relationship with money is also influenced by the models we learn from our parents.