My Company Planned My Career Without Me — How I Reclaimed My Story (and how you can, too)
I was the kind of employee companies seek.
I helped plan company culture events, interviewed new hires, assisted with onboarding, and genuinely cared about the company’s success. I was also the sole person managing customer contracts, terminations, and renewals — a function that was quietly holding a significant part of business operations together. I was working 10 to 11 hour days.
I was loyal. Maybe naively, but still deeply loyal.
Later at the company, I recognized I was being asked to do work that required a credential I didn’t have (nor wanted). I said it plainly:
“If you’re going to have this [project] continue, you need someone with [said credential]. I don’t have that, and I don’t want to get it. I’m happy to train them and go back to doing what I was hired to do on this team.”
However, upon hiring them (and me training them so they were up to speed), I became a liability. What are we going to do with Kelsey?
Why? Because there can’t be two people on a very small team handling very similar tasks — general operations to keep customers on board.
They answered that question without me.
My manager called me in and laid out a plan for my next role. A plan they had made, discussed, and decided on before I ever had the chance to share my goals. And the part that got me most? They thought I would be happy about it.
I asked questions, was curious about the opportunity, and probed to have all the information before making a decision. I tried to understand what this role actually was and what it meant for my career.
And then I asked the question most people aren’t willing to ask in that moment: “What if I don’t want this role?”
My manager looked at me and said:
“I don’t want to have a hard conversation if we don’t have to.”
I’m sorry — what? 😳
I was MAD. I felt like my career was pushed aside, not even considered. And then I became afraid I was going to lose my job if I didn’t want the role they planned for me.
So, what did I do about it?
I left the office, went home, and let myself feel my emotions. I vented with my roommate before reflecting on what I was learning about myself in this process. While we all have different paces for processing and taking action, I at least know that I move quickly through it. (I say this because if you need a few days, please take a few days!)
I ended up writing everything I wanted to say into a Google doc, printed it out the next morning, and stepped back into my boss’s office to talk it out.
Of course I was nervous — I said to him:
“I’m not sure how to have this conversation and I’m nervous. So I’m going to read word-for-word what I wrote, then I’m going to pop my head back up and we can go from there.”
Once I was done, his face was ghostly white.
He had no idea I would feel this way — again, he thought I would be happy to have him thinking about my career. I can admit, I was honored that he cared enough about me to think about where else I could go at the company. He then proceeded to apologize to me.
I ended up taking the new role.
At the moment, I wasn’t sure where this would lead me. But it was honestly a good decision because I got to learn far more about tech, working directly with customers, and even training them on complex software.
I’m glad I had the opportunity at this growing company and also had a manager who wanted me to land somewhere good. Those elements of a career are hard to come by, and I’m grateful for the experience.
What I could’ve done in this hard situation — that many people often do in these situations — is hold in my emotions, push it down, become resentful, and immediately start looking for a new role while also taking this internal one.
Instead, I met this situation with the courage to have the conversation, be honest about what I was feeling, and go directly to the source of where my anger was gnawing at me (a productive conversation with my manager).
Did this teach me a lot about endless loyalty? Yeah, it did.
I realized then and there that an individual has to own their career.
Otherwise, the power is lopsided. A manager being interested in their employee’s career is a good thing — but when they are dictating it, nothing good ever comes from it. The individual almost always receives the short end of the stick, so how does that help anyone, even the company?
As a main pillar of my villain arc — what eventually propelled me into Recruiting (and later, People + Culture leadership)—I didn’t want another person to have to go through the same thing.
I’ve since coached employees to own their career while simultaneously coaching managers to make sure it’s a reciprocal dynamic. This is what makes or breaks honest trust + loyalty (in both directions). It’s also why it’s crucial companies — especially startups — get this part of their culture right.
It’s also a big part of why I’m building EverMore — a career companion for taking ownership of your unique story. It’s the tool I’ve always wanted so I wouldn’t have to go it alone. You don’t have to go it alone, either.
Kelsey Peterson is the cofounder of EverMore, the career companion tool for owning + telling your career story. She’s a former Recruiting + Culture leader at early-stage startups, and uses career coaching to turn rage into growth at work. You can find her at → https://linktr.ee/ragingatwork
My Company Planned My Career Without Me — How I Reclaimed My Story. was originally published in The Startup on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.