I don’t precisely remember when I decided not to stay for the next reorg; the feeling had been growing for several years.
I do now reflect that it had more to do with my children than I registered at the time.
Or rather more to do with being a parent.
From my early forties, I was a figure of authority at home – to my children anyway; they were between five and 10 and they (almost) hung on my every word.
And yet in work (where I spent most of my waking life) I was often being treated like a child.
The power moves to make me feel small. The feedback that often felt like a teacher-pupil relationship. The grading at the end of the year. The dangling of opportunities.
I was a manager a few times in my career and hated it. I actually think I was a good boss, very focused on my team’s development, flexible in balancing lives outside work. But I failed miserably when it came to communications with them from On High – whether it was lines from HR or from senior management. I couldn’t sell the stuff I was told to sell.
I struggled to treat people working for me like children. And I didn’t want to be their parent either. I wanted something more egalitarian, ‘You do your thing, I’ll do mine and let’s achieve more than we could on our own’.
But of course that would probably result in anarchy in a corporate; it needs the hierarchy – and that means someone needs to be subordinate to someone else.
You’d think it would be the same in a client-service provider relationship. There’s certainly a fair amount of sycophancy involved in winning and maintaining relationships, but I’ve observed that’s usually at the sale stage of the relationship – and often done by account-types, not the ones left behind to do the work.
The actual work feels very different: it’s much more equal, a meeting of minds, interdependency.
And I love that.
I no longer feel treated as a child and no longer have to parent others.
It’s just about the work; stripped back and focused almost entirely on solving problems and adding value.
Unfortunately, I don’t believe this kind of work is open to everyone.
I believe it’s only really open to people like us: the people who have been trained in how to be a good corporate employee, the people who recognise the quality bar and knock it out the park every time, the people who understand stakeholders and risk.
This is our time! Time to recast our relationship with work – and with those with whom we work.
It’s more transactional yes, but that doesn’t mean it needs to lack purpose or point.
It builds confidence and resilience and it also gives us choice over who we work with.
It’s the payoff for all the years saying yes.
I’ve banged on enough about Escapology Live – it starts March 24th – a group programme focused on my five stage method to leave your corporate job safely and successfully. Read more here.